I'm a cognitive behavioral psychologist. I've spent more than 8 years working with women who love deeply and keep ending up in the same story. Before that, I lived it.
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For years, I was the one who gave everything.
I fell for who a man could become, not who he was. I gave, I fixed, I kept the peace, and I put myself last, without even knowing it. Underneath it all was a fear I never said out loud: ending up alone. So I settled.
And I didn't even know what I was doing wrong.
The root was older than any relationship. Somewhere in childhood, I learned that being loved meant keeping everyone happy and never asking for too much. I carried that into every relationship.
Then I met Remi. For the first time, love felt calm. But deep down, I was still terrified of being the one left behind. So in our hardest arguments, part of me wanted to leave first.
A good man couldn't redraw my map for me.
I had to stop, see the old fear, and choose to stay. Again and again.
Today, I feel truly seen by the man I love. I don't have to earn my place. I don't have to ask to be a priority. I just get to be me.
That's why I created Rooted in Love: the process I wish someone had walked through with me. Not more advice about what to text. The root, so the pattern finally lets go of you.
With love, Leidy
Most advice teaches you what to do: what to say, when to text, how to act so he stays. That works until the feeling comes back. And it always comes back, because nothing changed underneath.
As a psychologist, I work with how attachment patterns form and how they change. We find the belief underneath your pattern and where it began, and then we practice something new, in real life, until it feels like you.
Nine quick questions to see which love pattern you've been living in, where it comes from, and what it's been costing you.
In a free 60-minute call, we'll name the pattern you've been living inside, where it started, and what it would take to change it. No pressure, no script.